Hadith 1640 Abdullah bin Ja`far (Radhi Allahu Huma) said: The Prophet
gave respite for three days to the family of Ja`far (after his martydom). Then he came and said,
"Don't weep for my brother after this day.'' He said,
"Bring all of my nephews to me.'' We were accordingly brought as if we were chickens. Then he
said,
"Call for me a barber.'' He directed him to shave our heads which he did. [Abu Dawud].
Commentary: Ja`far was the cousin of the Prophet
and he was martyred in the battle of Mu'tah. Although martyrdom is an honour but even then the bereaved family does feel the shock of the loss. For this reason, the Prophet
permitted them to give vent to their grief for three days. It should not, however, be taken to mean that he allowed them to lament and wail, because that is prohibited. What he actually allowed them was the natural weeping which does occur when people come for condolence and speak of the deceased. Such expression of grief is permissible after a period of three days also.
Therefore, what the Prophet
had advised them was not in the nature of unlawful but natural. The children of the deceased called themselves "chickens'' as they were greatly enervated by the tragedy. This Hadith has been mentioned here to confirm the validity of shaving the hair of the head, especially of children, although keeping bobbed hair is more meritorious because the Prophet
himself did so. Bobbed hair are cut short and allowed to hang loosely.
For an explanation of this Hadith by Dr Muhammad Salah view the video included in Hadith No. 1639